June 2010
2 posts
A mistake.
Something you can make, something you can be.
January 2010
7 posts
“I’d probably just take my shirt off, I don’t even like klondike...”
“There is nothing i want more in this world then to go home. It’s just that...”
There is no such thing as no such thing.
As this new year begins, I have started to discover several things about life that I have before ignored, completely moving my mind to see things that I had previously said were not real. There are several things in this world our minds put away from our sight simply because we are not open enough to see them. I want to start this year from the very bottom, always looking up. I never again want to...
December 2009
3 posts
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
– Lily Tomlin
Grandfather,
I love my grandfather dearly, he would always tell me things i never understood, but after seeping in i would. Being a very religious man he would tell me about the evils that get into you, and alter your thought and the poison the purity of your soul. A while ago this used to scare me, and i would think of my day of judgment and how puny and insignificant i would look to god when he casts me to...
“The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.”
– Joseph Stalin
November 2009
2 posts
“because you said you would always love me i guess we all lie sometimes..”
it's been a while
i missed tumblr haha its a good place to go.. now its time to unfollow some people i dont remember haha
August 2009
1 post
sick
I am not physically considered sick, all it is, is a chemical imbalance in my brain right?
why do i feel sick? why am i sitting in the bathroom throwing up? why am i so hopeless? why can the misproduction of a couple chemicals effect everything?
July 2009
10 posts
growing pains
WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL GET THEM???
I cant even sleep they are so bad…
wow. its 330 in the morning
gsdiohoifhgosihfgdfg damn.
Fuck it.
I really don’t understand anything anymore, i keep on looking, keep on reading, keep taking notes, but i really don’t understand. There is ALWAYS a game being played. Everyone has their own game. What is yours? Can i see it? Am i blinded by my own feelings? I don’t see it.
My father always taught me about people, what they plan, what they want. Now i look for these things in...
feelings.
Every time i start to hurt, it feels as if my mind packs away as quick as possible and moves. Then it leaves and i’m cold and alone. Emptiness. It doesn’t hurt, it kind of tingles. Along with the tingling comes the sinking, the difficulty to breathe and the feeling of forcing my own heart to beat. This bit hurts a little, but keeps me awake with fear. I feel like my sole purpose is to...
“i can’t believe i’m smiling right now.”
empty smiles
Raised off of empty smiles, i have created my own. For times of distress, sadness, and pain. If your asking why would one hide these feelings, its for the bigger fear for unnacceptance. Being alone is one of my biggest fears, yet by faking everything i almost ended up alone. They say every cloud has a silver lining, and i know thats just the lightning. From all my fake smiles i have learned to...
I realised
I have not posted anything random
So today i will write a story about turtles.
Today i met a man named Windsor, but hes completely unrelated to my story. As i woke up to the sun rising in my eyes, i saw a green object moving around in my bed. Since i hadn’t put contacts in so it just looked like a plastic toy. I quickly got out of bed and ran for my glasses, i really wanted to know what...
Family
There is a strange bond that comes with family, this is always felt during family reunions and visits from little ones. I will always love to see family, even if we don’t do anything but sit around and talk about how our school year went or our vacation, it is always nice. i will always love to see my baby cousins, they will always be babies to me. I remember seeing my new born cousin...
He said She said bullshit
Arguments. Always in an argument.
have you ever heard the line “no, but this changed everything”?
i bet all of you have fell for it.
What you really need to remember is what it’s like before.
that bullshit about oh then i saw you really cared and now i love you
you got to stop and call the bluff, so what the fuck was it before?
i’m pretty damn tired of hearing how...
ever felt...
like you needed someone who didn’t even want you?
your world revolved around someone who wants to walk away?
like there is no other option?
like someone is reading your mind?
like you really should move on but don’t know how?
like you need to move?
alone?
used?
displaced?
replaced?
unimportant?
restless?
white pain?
like no one cares?
I’d love to meet you if you...
Lonely Love
She can make my heart beat louder with a single thought
When she’s there the rest of the room blurs
her touch makes my heart tingle and jump
my skin longs for her
her voice alone can stop any pain
but her words are still like knifes
She alone can burn my heart cold
her lust burns my skin
but she will never know
because she will never notice
June 2009
7 posts
“drop, choke, die”
breathe
How many times have i fucking been here?
breathing the same stale air that left my lungs seconds ago
thinking the same fucking thoughts
sitting alone in the dark with no one but myself
Ive beat the walls until they bleed
yet i am still here
hate fills my heart
if you ask i’m fucking fine
but who am i trying to convince
i am suffocating on my own oxygen
waiting for the dark to come...
A late night kiss
It all started as a late night kiss. Thats all it was, a ‘hook up’ and nothing more. Both hearts matched their lungs, blackened from cigarettes. We never cared, i am going to die soon anyway we joked or hoped. Each soul yearning for contact but not sure if it was right. We’re just friends, hanging out at a park late at night. In fact the confidence of myself overlooked all of...
Confidence
Confidence is all about knowing who you can become
not about what you can rule or where you can go
but what you can change
The knowledge of what you deserve is higher than what you need
The knowledge of knowing your place is higher then where you started
The ability to climb without looking down.
Confidence will never be tangible
yet never out of reach
“i’m never going to know you now, but i’m going to love you anyhow”
– Elliott Smith
about me
I have many beliefs not all of them are normal, and not all of them are unusual. Everyone should experience love, even if it is lost at one point. Hate happens to few and are directed towards many, thats just the human mind. I will always try to look past weaknesses, and always see the light in people.
